My peaceful Saturday afternoon was interrupted by a tap-tap-tapping at my chamber door. Slick as she was, the girl noticed my shadow under the door and waved a very loud "Hello" into the peephole, so no escaping at that point. I opened the door to a fast-talking teenager (I think--I doubt she was any older than 20) who babbled on about selling magazine subscriptions that went towards getting her and the others in her group points that had something to do with going to college and majoring in communications. It didn't make a lot of sense and I just smiled and nodded. I'm pretty sure I told her I wasn't interested, but only after I asked her again who she was with and she proceeded to tell me something about post-graduate something-or-other. Not interested? Okay fine, then she'll take down my name to prove she talked to me and she'll at least get a few points for that. I figure, fine, at worst I'll get put on some stupid mailing list and get fliers for fundraisers. Hey, maybe I'll even subscribe to some magazine way down the line...

Okay fine, you can have my name.

Can she use my couch to write things down, as she's standing in the middle of the hallway and has no convenient space to write? Now, the way my apartment is set up, what this should've entailed is three steps inside the door to use the back of the nearest piece of furniture, still standing and only just barely inside. Well fine, whatever. She comes in, all the way in, and has a nice cozy seat ON the couch and whips out her little pad of paper that looks a whole lot like a receipt book.

*Ummmm, make yourself at home? I can't remember saying such a thing, but umm.... Is it warm enough in here for you, would you like a cup of coffee, can I get you another pillow?? What the heck is going on here?!?*

Okay great... Hey, neat CD tower! Did you pay very much for that?

*Well, I doubt it.... It was from Target. I can't really remember.*

So, I should look through her fliers and pick out some magazines... At this point I'm a little confused again... I can't really remember where I agreed to this. So more chit-chat.

*Okay, wait-wait a second... Who did you say you were with again? Are you in High School around here or with the nearby University?*

No, blah-blah something about communications again. Oh, and somewhere along the line it comes up that I'll be paying HER in cash or check for this little purchase. Yeah right, honey. You just gave yourself away. I don't think I have any cash on hand and darn-it-all... fresh out of checks as well (half-true, the cash part anyway). Oh, well that's fine, if I just have a credit or debit card, we can do it that way too... *HAHAHAHA!!! I'm sure we can! If you think you're leaving here with my credit card numbers...*

Or we can always go to an ATM, that's fine too.

Okay, I've had enough. The more she talks the more bogus this all gets. I might possibly be stupid enough to let her walk out of my place with some of my cash in hand, if I had any to "spend," but it'll be a cold day in... ummm... Cancun, before I start handing out signed checks or credit card information to someone who isn't even clever enough to come up with an organization that she belongs to when she comes to my door to try to take my money.

You know what, I don't think I need any magazines right now. I don't think I'm going to be able to do this.

"Oh, so you DON'T want to help me then??"

Not in so many words, but no, I'm not going to be able to do this.

She stands up collects her things and finally starts to leave. Thank God... I handed her back her brochures with a polite, "Sorry."

"Sorry's a board game." And she walks out the door.

Me, in all of my paranoia, I'm still a little worried that there was more to all of it than her just hoping I'll put cash or God-forbid, my credit information, in her hand. Hopefully that will be the last we'll see of that.

There's this week's exciting story of treachery and deception.

Au revoir.

Before And After

Would I get a discount if I birthed the baby in the store? - 5/16/05
The end is near? - 5/13/05
The progession of me - 5/10/05
Cleaning update - 5/7/05
Pre-nesting - 5/7/05