Moving on...

I've been feeling very reflective lately. I get periodic emails from classmates.com, as I'm sure half the other people in the world do, and very rarely do I go check things out to see what's new and who's there now. I don't miss high school. Whatever pieces of high school I'd ever want to hang on to, I have. The rest can disappear from the face of the Earth, as far as I'm concerned. But anyway, once in a while I check in to see who new has registered there. I don't know why it surprised me, but it kind of did that so many of my female ex-classmates have new last names. I guess that's really pretty stupid considering that we are all 25-ish and every last one of the few people I still talk to from that time are married. Maybe it didn't surprise me all that much... I think more that I was surprised that I hadn't heard something from somewhere about any of them. And then, of course there are bound to be people like me who are married but didn't change their name, so add another handful of anonymous married ex-classmates to that list. Not that it all really matters much anyway. It's just times like those that make me realize how far from it all I really am. Where has the time gone?

Along related lines... I had written back a while ago that TJ had told me that he'd heard from someone that my ex from high-school had been killed in some sort of pedestrian vs. auto accident. If I can find the entry, I'll link it, but I think it may have been just in Scribble Journal in which case it's gone forever. Now, for most people I'm guessing that this is barely noteworthy because once you become an adult, as I just commented, high school things become very far away and in most cases even the most serious of high school relationships last only about 2 years. However, stories of Steve are intermingled with my ENTIRE high school experience. Four years spanning from just before Freshman year to about a month into my first semester of college. I was not yet 14 when we met and just barely 18 when we separated. That's a big chunk and unfortunately that time will always have to be recognized as part of what shaped me into the person I am today. So the moral of the story is, while I couldn't get away fast enough from that time of my life, I can't ever just erase it or ignore it without denying that I was ever even in high school. That said... On with the tale.

After TJ told me what he heard, I decided maybe it was time to appear unexpectedly and find out as directly as I could. I sent an email to what I thought was a recent address and got no response. If for no other reason, I'd like to know the truth as not to spread such a nasty rumor. Occasionally I do run into people who ask me how Steve's doing or if I've talked to him lately and as it stood I'd have to say, "The last thing I've heard is that he's dead." It's the truth as I know it, anyhow. Well anyway, no response which didn't make me think the story was true so much as it did that either I didn't have the right email address or that the message I was meant to get was "Consider me dead anyway." Which is fine with me. Steve and I are a perfect example of why friends and lovers should be kept separate. We weren't friends first, but we were always better at being friends than we were at being a couple.

So anyway, I think I've found evidence via the web to suggest that he is, in fact, still alive and most alarmingly back living in the area after his relocation to California in 1999. That's just about the most awkward situation I can imagine, running into him at the grocery store with Jeff and I trying to decide what kind of spaghetty sauce to buy or arguing over whether or not we NEED cookies and ice cream. At least now I guess I won't be taken completely off guard.

The other up side to all of this is that I have one or two closure issues there that I've been holding back from talking about in light of this whole "dead" thing. It would be terribly insensitive of me to write, "My 'high-school sweetheart' is dead... He was a shmuck anyway." It's not really my style to do such a thing.

Enough for now...

Au Revoir.

Before And After

Would I get a discount if I birthed the baby in the store? - 5/16/05
The end is near? - 5/13/05
The progession of me - 5/10/05
Cleaning update - 5/7/05
Pre-nesting - 5/7/05